Collected Animals

Bagels are the worst type of bread up there with big ass pretzels. They suck cuz what other bread do you HAVE to cook again to eat. Like yea plain toast is better than a slice of plain bread. But only a “raw” bagel is inedible. Cream cheese is the worst kinda dairy too. It’s like between sour cream and goat cheese which are both better. Bagels and pretzels suck and the only reason they’re so popular is they never go bad and cuz nobody In the Western Hemisphere besides Louisiana has good bread across every type of bread. There’s a place near me that is the bakery to a large restaurant as well as several other large restaurants. They operate a coffee shop out the front where they sell the shit. On the shelf they have bagels AND biscuits and you know what sells more? The biscuits cuz it’s a fundamentally better bread for breakfast. This proves my theory that if society wasn’t so shackled to the fucked up concepts of “punk ty laity” and “profitability” and “shelf life” we wouldn’t have to grow to love shitty peasant food like a sad ass waxy bagel

i revoke my AnCo Pledge

Warmed up to the idea of a pretzel at a movie bc it's such a quiet snack. Agree cream cheese is terrible though, don't think there's anything you could blend it up in to redeem it. Think I'm retconnning an earlier take about butter but I don't care.

hedgecore wrote:

hypo's wrote:

it's not only open for discussion but obsession!

really tho that's a stupid response and you're obnoxious, I'm gonna mute you

It's ok, i've had Fovrodi and [redacted] (sorry [redacted]) on my ignore list for a bit now (unrelated to this thread)

also you know you're gonna to display my posts

Not even worth digging up the thanos "I don't even know who you are" meme for

Hedgecore if I’m not the one you’re talking about here please quote this

Alright you're on pissed off list

Guy is ragging on bagels yet eating a croissant out of a fuckin WRAPPER

Fovrodi wrote:

hedgecore wrote:

hypo's wrote:

it's not only open for discussion but obsession!

really tho that's a stupid response and you're obnoxious, I'm gonna mute you

It's ok, i've had Fovrodi and [redacted] (sorry [redacted]) on my ignore list for a bit now (unrelated to this thread)

also you know you're gonna to display my posts

Not even worth digging up the thanos "I don't even know who you are" meme for

Hedgecore if I’m not the one you’re talking about here please quote this

I regret everything (a common excuse on this forum: blame it on the booze) Minus the Fovrodi comment although it is sort of petty. sorry... kanye stans who make excuses for his ridiculous and ignorant behavior is not my cup of tea! but please jeebus lets not bring that into here

instead we can talk about bagels.

Faygo rhymes with it, and you know it goes with it. and by goes with it I mean i'm spraying it all over my chest in a white t shirt

Guy is ragging on bagels yet eating a croissant out of a fuckin WRAPPER

It was just like cellophane tied in a knot that she’d brought from the bakery and sold at her tiny spot. It wasn’t like a full on industrially packaged food. Although i do sometimes buy those and the only brand i know is called like 5 days or 7 days which alludes to shelf life but I bet it lasts a lot longer than a week, im not above eating packaged foods at all but I’m not gonna run thru traffic and shitting birds for them smfh

As far as I'm concerned, if you're not prepared to put the flour, salt and sugar in a mixing bowl. Measure 300ml cold water into a jug, add the yeast and stir. Make a well in the flour and pour in the liquid. Mix, then knead on your work surface for 10 mins. Shape into a ball, put in a lightly oiled bowl, cover and chill for at least 2 hrs.

Put the butter between 2 sheets of baking parchment. Using a rolling pin, bash and roll it into a rectangle about 20 x 15cm. Leave wrapped in the baking parchment and chill.

Transfer the chilled dough to a floured surface and roll into a 40 x 20cm rectangle. Place the unwrapped slab of butter in the centre of the dough, so that it covers the middle third.

Fold one side of the dough up and halfway over the butter.

Fold the other side of the dough up and over the butter in the same way, so that the two edges of the dough meet in the centre of the butter.

Fold the dough in half so that the point where the ends of the dough meet becomes the seam. Wrap in cling film and chill for 30 mins.

Repeat the rolling, folding and chilling process (steps 3-6) twice more in exactly the same way – rolling the pastry while it’s still folded – without adding more butter. Wrap and chill overnight.

The next day, roll the dough out on a floured surface into a large rectangle, measuring about 60 x 30cm. Using a sharp knife or pizza cutter, trim the edges to neaten.

Cut the dough in half lengthways so that you have 2 long strips, then cut each strip into 6 or 7 triangles with 2 equal sides.

Take each triangle in turn and pull the two corners at the base to stretch and widen it.

Starting at the base of each triangle, begin to gently roll into a croissant, being careful not to crush the dough.

Continue rolling, making sure the tip of each triangle ends up tucked under the croissant to hold in place. If adding any fillings (see tips, below), place across the widest part of the triangle before rolling up.

Bend the ends of the croissants inwards, then transfer to baking trays lined with baking parchment, spaced well apart. Cover with lightly oiled cling film and leave to rise for 2 hrs, or until doubled in size.

Heat oven to 200C/180C fan/gas 6. Mix the beaten egg with a pinch of salt and use to generously glaze the croissants. Bake for 15-18 mins until risen and golden brown, then cool on wire racks whenever you want a croissant, can you even call yourself a fan?

Bravo

One of the all-time worst threads

FEEL ON1NE!!! wrote:

Go eat your flaky ass croissants pal

im a dummy hehe

Hmm... Agreed

Cooper wrote:

Fovrodi wrote:

hedgecore wrote:

hypo's wrote:

it's not only open for discussion but obsession!

really tho that's a stupid response and you're obnoxious, I'm gonna mute you

It's ok, i've had Fovrodi and [redacted] (sorry [redacted]) on my ignore list for a bit now (unrelated to this thread)

also you know you're gonna to display my posts

Not even worth digging up the thanos "I don't even know who you are" meme for

Hedgecore if I’m not the one you’re talking about here please quote this

I regret everything (a common excuse on this forum: blame it on the booze) Minus the Fovrodi comment although it is sort of petty. sorry... kanye stans who make excuses for his ridiculous and ignorant behavior is not my cup of tea! but please jeebus lets not bring that into here

instead we can talk about bagels.

Faygo rhymes with it, and you know it goes with it. and by goes with it I mean i'm spraying it all over my chest in a white t shirt

Lolol I didn’t even remember to associate you with the Kanye thread. I was just saying that because it’s funny to be so demonstrably insecure. I should stop fucking around lol. Fov why are you mad at me

This shits crazy I thought I was gonna come back here and just be like "hey guys I finally had bagels yesterday"

and I did they were egg everything and sesame both just buttered and toasted, was the shit. still fixing for a lox hit

I think every thread should be like this one

Hedgecore has the most annoying avatar by far, so I havent bothered keeping up with his posts, probably wouldve foed by now if I wasnt already aggressively scrolling past dudes posts

bet the asshole doesn't even like bagels smh

Whoops

I've literally served xheyrou a well toasted bagel with cream cheese + chives cuz I'm a good host even to haters and he seemingly enjoyed it.

You must have felt left out from bagel culture as a child or something cause he's been trying to force it as a part of
his identity for a long time (sad)

I think a lot of people simply don't know how to toast their bagels and the range of flavor combos you can explore. Sad. I'm not even that big of a bagel guy but I'm not fool enough to try and limit my life in the way I would by saying no to them completely wtf

I’m feeling left out anyone wanna beef with me

I love Tangerine Reef and Eucalyptus but honestly......?

fuck Coral Lord and his problematic ass opinions. Idk what they are but I bet I would beef with them hard af if I knew them

I was around dio once and they stank like cream cheese wouldn’t be surprised if they were using it as moisturizer

coral lord? more like bore-al lord

gg scrub

Bet yr sorry you asked for it now, Coral Load

u guys took it too far, im leaving

I’m feeling left out anyone wanna beef with me

No one wants to beef with you because you are stinky

Im the one who smells bad.

Honestly tho cream cheese isn't a horrible smell. Maybe if its gone bad I suppose.

Legit I just got that everything bagel ice cream from Jeni’s which is very appropriate I gotta try it tonight

Hedgecore has the most annoying avatar by far

The haircut I can take or leave but what is up with that tiny dog!!! keep seeing it around this fkn site does it belong to one of the band members or something!!!!!!!

they're a good dog

Fovrodi wrote:

Hedgecore has the most annoying avatar by far

The haircut I can take or leave but what is up with that tiny dog!!! keep seeing it around this fkn site does it belong to one of the band members or something!!!!!!!

little dog havers unite

Hedgecore has the most annoying avatar by far, so I havent bothered keeping up with his posts, probably wouldve foed by now if I wasnt already aggressively scrolling past dudes posts

IDK, something about this feels kinda racist to me

Says more about you than it does me

You just bore me dude sorry

Arbitrary beef is boring

Agreed. back to bagels

months later edit: I want to apologize for being an asshole to people

*white dude admits hes boring*

Just had an arbitrary beef with horseradish bagel. Outstanding.

Horseradish is so wild. Love it...

Man I remember I got into it like pages ago but was at work when I did it just bored out of my mind so I was like "I can't go back in there, im not even sure what I said or if I care that much about what I said" and thought maybe I got cornpilled

but like... I mean im still not gonna go look at those pages. but I GUESS I didn't get cornpilled....?

def gonna stick to talking food tho.

*white dude admits hes boring*

This is called progress

You can totally hear the white privilege in the reverb on Fall Be Kind. If you can't hear it then you're part of the problem.

And I know for a FACT that all four guys do give a fuck about an Oxford comma,

Geo trashed Tortoise for wearing suits. That’s praxis